by Benny Mattis
Are
you in a romantic relationship with someone? Do you feel that caress
of the transcendent, that pain of desire between the rapturous
encounters to which your otherwise-unoccupied hours are inevitably
dedicated? Is this beloved similarly enchanted by a divinized vision
of your own otherwise-ordinary ways of being? If the reader does, in
fact, partake of the ancient mystery that is wild Romance, I have
only one request this Valentine's Day: Do not spend any time alone
together on February 14th.
St.
Valentine's Day is usually designated as a celebration of what C.S.
Lewis called Eros,
or romantic love (distinct from mere sexual appetite), in The
Four Loves. But
should not every day be a celebration of romance, between those who
share it? Indeed, an avalanche of popular songs and screenplays make
it nearly impossible not
to see just how grand life might be with the right kind of person by
your side. Valentine's Day, as it stands, resembles a spotlight set
up to illuminate the Sun itself, functioning primarily in blinding
those who remain earthbound (by telling singles that they are not as
happy as they might be) and absurdly implying that the Sun needs
artificial illumination in the first place (as if romance were
actually enhanced by the reduction of its gifts, one day out of the
year, to the status of mere custom). Valentine's day is missing
something, namely, love itself.
This
Valentine's Day, I suggest celebrating not Eros
necessarily, but rather love,
as such. There is
more to love than the specific subtype Eros.
There are also, most notably, friendship and charity; I think these
loves ought to be considered just as important as Eros
on the upcoming holiday. Thus, I suggest those enthralled by romance
might best celebrate by taking a break and chilling with some old
friends. For those who already spend their free time 'bro-ing out on
the Xbox, Valentine's Day might be well-celebrated by making some
extra time to help at a soup kitchen or the like. Finally, the
champion of human solidarity may find rejuvenation in temporary
shared secession (with friends or a romantic interest) from the
active struggle for social justice.
"Blasphemy!"
cries the stubborn romantic. Well, okay, maybe nobody will take me
that seriously. In any case, have no fear: this suggestion is by no
means an attempt to foist that dreaded "Puritanism" upon an
unsuspecting readership. On the contrary, I hope that the passions
excited by this experiment might strengthen the various
manifestations of Eros
on this campus into such that they will support and be supported by
the other types of love. If you were overwhelmed by the passion of
sharing yourself with a beloved, imagine how the sparks will fly when
the two of you share that newfound energy, through friendship and
charity, with the communities you find yourselves in! This goes for
the Friends and champions of solidarity, too: How can you fully
enjoy chilling with your 'bros (a term which has evolved into
gender-neutrality in my own circles), if they don't allow you some
away-time to pursue that person of interest in your Chemistry class?
How can you truly love "humanity" if you treat the
individual humans around you as mere means to an end (however
well-intentioned that end may be)? Aristotle suggested that there
was a "Unity of the Virtues": no given particular virtue
can be attained without allowing the totality of the remaining
virtues to develop as well. Maybe this Valentine's Day can be spent
in recognition of the unity of the loves.
